Here I am adding any personal stories or contributions that I am sent. If you would like to contribute to this please contact me through the ‘Contact’ page on the website.
This from Lucy:
I wanted to say a huge thank you for writing your book and sharing it.
I struggled in AA for over a decade ‘trying’ to get the programme. Periods of sobriety followed, usually brief, followed by still worse relapse – as a binge drinker who didn’t drink daily, but still drank frequently to total excess, I just didn’t and couldn’t accept powerlessness and the required dependence on God.
As a nurse I just couldn’t fathom why ‘God’ would save a drunk who prayed hard enough and went to AA, yet not save the innocents I have come into contact with in my nursing career. AAs response to this was that I wasn’t working the programme hard enough! I walked away.
The words in your book were like a eureka moment, a sudden light bulb event that FINALLY made sense of everything I believe about addiction.
I no longer drink and never will again and I feel joyous and free about my decision.
Thank you so much
This From Chris:
I just finished your book. I have read a lot of books about alcohol, and addiction, and your book has connected the dots, and filled in the missing pieces in an important and useful way for me.
It think the key here is objectivity. Truly breaking down the reality of drinking. I appreciate approaching this, quitting booze, with logic as the primary tool. The SMART manual is a good reference in this regard as well.
I watched an insightful podcast awhile back. The presenter described himself as a physical being. No story, no background, just a physical person. And alcohol as a liquid. No back back story, no history, etc. So you put the liquid into the body and simply observe what happens. And the conclusion was, objectively, that the negative consequences always outweigh the benefits. So simple.
Thanks for your insightful work I will be using it!
This if from Joe from Dorset:
I’m 34 and alcohol has been part of my life since my early teens. When I was a teenager I was regularly binge drinking and when friends went off to college and drinking down the park was no longer acceptable I began secretly drinking. 20 odd years later, married with a little boy and I’ve managed to function fairly well in spite of alcohol. I’ve always had an awareness of my use of alcohol and a sense that it was unhealthy but never understood why I have always gone back to booze. Now I occasionally binge but my pattern of drinking is most days, about 10 units. Enough to make me constantly tired and a bit fat. I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I’ve had counselling, for about 2 years. Helped me deal with a lot of stuff from early years. Recently I’ve been thinking “I must still have some stuff to work through, why else would I need to drink?”. I bought your book a few months ago but the only time I usually read is in the evening and I’m usually absolutely exhausted or too blurry eyed to focus on the words. After a particularly bingey weekend I was resolved to have a night off on Monday. Coincidentally I picked up your book that evening and finished it by Friday evening. I didn’t read it to stop drinking, in fact I had no intention of stopping, just to gain an understanding of alcohol and perhaps be empowered to control my drinking. I’ve not had a drink or indeed any desire to drink since the first night. Nothing, none whatsoever. And I can’t say I’ve been craving either. Thoughts have popped into my head but haven’t lingered. One thing I was not prepared for was (by day 4) an increasing feeling of anxiety. Or that’s what I thought it was. I think I’ve figured out what this is though. I have a stressful job but it’s not physically taxing. Usually my energy levels are zapped from all the booze but now I’ve stopped this I’ve a load of unspent adrenaline causing me to feel a bit charged. This is good as I plan to pick up on some physical activities that I used to enjoy. I just want to say a huge, heartfelt and genuine thank you for your book. It’s so accessible, easy to read, concise and informative. I’m training to be a counsellor and I’m sure there will be ample opportunity to spread the word of your work.
Thank you again and I look forward to following your blog.
Kindest regards, Joe
The is from Karyn:
Thank you for writing Alcohol Explained.
I noticed some feedback about references at the bottom of this blog and would like to comment on that to start. I am drawn to the logical flow of this book, I do not need references to prove any of your claims. They all make sense to me, and your message contributes to my change in beliefs about alcohol, which is all I need to remain free from my addiction. I will share this book with as many people as I can, including my kids someday.
I have read a few books about the subconscious and conscious mind and how they influence a person’s addiction. The first book I read that introduced the subject was Jason Vale’s Kick the Drink. I found his writing to be inspirational, but there was something not-right about his approach. He said, you must quit drinking after reading his book for good. If you return to drinking the words and message in the book will become less and less potent. I read that book years ago, and after a few months had returned to drinking. I didn’t read it again, even though the concepts were helpful, because he flat out told me it wouldn’t be as useful again. I also read This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace. She used the conscious and subconscious approach, breaking down myths etc. but the tone of the book made me feel like she was selling me something -like life on the other side of drinking is full of rainbows. I didn’t trust her book, but took away some good information. Your book is just the kind of straight-forward, logical and helpful information and techniques I needed. Here is how it helped me.
- The Physiological Effects of Drinking: Knowing that the body and brain attempt to create balance by countering a depressant with a stimulant makes sense. It helped me to understand what is actually happening when a person drinks, and also helped me to understand why, when I’m feeling depressed, drinking is NOT the solution. It’s like an evil loan shark (great analogy) It is actually impossible to feel better with alcohol. I will always lose.
- Fading Effect Bias & The Mental Agony of Stopping: I quit drinking 7 months ago. My strategy for dealing with the subconscious addiction has been to read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos and learn as much as I can about the truth about alcohol. When ever I feel a craving to drink, I read about the negative affects of drinking and the craving goes away. Unfortunately, the cravings were still coming back before dinner every night (according to your stages, I was at a stage 3, drinking wine after work regularly). Even though I know the negative affects of alcohol, I have held a deep believe that my life will never be happy again without alcohol. Your analogy from the movie Trolls (I have two little kids, so I am VERY familiar with this movie) actually helped quite a bit. I don’t need to eat a troll to be happy. How simple.
- Quitting: when a craving arrives, it makes sense to counter it immediately with reality instead of romanticism. Fading effect bias really makes sense here, so to have some facts on hand to remind myself of the truth, can cut off a craving immediately.
The ONLY thing that I find difficult about this approach is doing it alone. When you are living in a culture of drinking, and working against marketing giants, it is sometimes difficult to say to yourself – I’m right, and everybody else is wrong. I would love to be able to talk about alcohol with people at a dinner table or in conversation, but people who drink just don’t want to talk about it – at all.
I understand AA works for some people but I really struggle with some of the core concepts. Firstly, keeping things anonymous. I think that adds to our stigma problem and like you said, gives people false permission to disassociate from the spectrum of alcoholism that anyone who drinks is on. Also I don’t think there is any consideration of the conscious and unconscious mind and their roles. AA suggests members consider themselves part of the percentage of the population who are born with a disease.
I see how the story-telling helps aa members to re-wire their brains, by reminding themselves of their rock bottoms. I just don’t know if shame and regret can help a person move forward in a positive way in life.
Thankfully, neuroscience is doing a lot of promotion about the plasticity of our brains and how we can change the way we think and behave. So far the people I spend time with don’t want to talk about neuroscience, so making new friends is something I’m working on.
So thank you again for writing the book. I will read it a few times and share as often as possible. It is something everyone should read – drinker or non-drinker. It can help people. ‘When you know better, you do better’.