Afraid of the Dark

As father of two young children I am reminded, almost nightly, of the concept of being afraid of the dark. Of course it’s not dark that children, or anyone else for that matter, is afraid of, it is what may be lurking within it. This is why it affects children more than adults. Adults know as an indisputable fact that when they wake up in the night there are no monsters lurking in the shadows. They know that monsters in the supernatural sense do not exist, and they know that human monsters won’t be lurking in the shadows because they understand their own homes and security systems. They may know for instance that no one could break in at all, or could break in without setting an alarm off, or break in silently. They know there is no space under the bed or in the wardrobe for someone, or something, to hide. Even though they cannot see what is in the dark, or under the bed, or in the wardrobe, they know from experience and logic that nothing threatening can lurk within. Adults do experience fear of the dark, but this is only when the possibility of a threat exists; either they are in an unfamiliar place, or are still half asleep and still partly within the dream they are fighting to leave. When they wake up properly, and their rational mind reasserts itself, the fear leaves. Children don’t have this. Whilst they understand on one level that monsters don’t exist, on another level, in their imagination, they are as real as any other part of their life.

Fear of the unknown isn’t irrational, on the contrary it is the safest, most rational response, and also a response that is very deeply instilled in us. Think about before humans emerged from the primeval forest, or about animals for that matter. If they hear a noise and cannot see the source of it, they can’t know if it is something that poses a threat to them or not. An animal that does not fear the unknown is an animal that will end up dead. The ones who are afraid and flee are the ones that survive. Animals and humans alike, when confronted with the unknown, fear the worst and act accordingly. They accord and apportion their fear and respect to the unknown phenomenon on the basis of a worst case scenario. This is a simple, straightforward, survival mechanism.

Alcohol addictions has always been an unknown force, and it is for that reason that it holds such power over us. All we know is that in direct opposition of all that is rational, we want, and indeed have to have, a drink. We don’t understand why and we feel absolutely helpless and afraid. These two feelings alone make us want a drink even more, but more important than that is the fact that we then accord to that irrational desire for a drink the status of absolute power, because we simply do not understand it. The other problem of course is that without a rational, scientific understanding of what is going on, the battle of sobriety seems too formidable. If you are absolutely desperate for a drink, and someone told you (and you believed) that that feeling would only last for 4 minutes, after which it would go, never to return, you would most likely mange to rally your determination and get through those 4 minutes. Conversely if you believe that feeling will never ever go, or that it will takes years to slowly dissipate, or worse of all that it will get progressively worse, then there is no point even trying to fight it. You will end up giving in at some point, so you may as well make it sooner rather than later.

This is why a definitive, complete and fully workable understanding of alcohol and addiction is needed to most effectively quit drinking, and why it is so important to understand each of the factors that causes you to want a drink, how they are triggered, and when they will end. Firstly and most importantly is removes the unknown. We are no longer up against something unknown, and therefore we no longer need to apportion to it an overly inflated amount of fear or respect. We know it for what it really is, we understand it, and therefore it no longer holds additional power over us because of the unknown element. In understanding something you diminish its power over you. Jason Vale used the example of the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy, the Tinman, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion finally confront the Wizard of Oz. The are in awe of him, they are terrified, until they finally realise that he is nothing more than a rather pathetic old man with a rather complicated set of mechanical special effects.

I believe that this is the reason why many people, on reading Alcohol Explained, describe it as something akin to a switch being flipped in their mind, such that they no longer have any desire to drink. If you have spent years fearing an unknown force, and suddenly have it fully explained, the results can be dramatic.