Someone recently very kindly left a review on the US Amazon page for Alcohol Explained which I found particularly gratifying. Just to clarify I find every positive review intensely gratifying, as I have said more times that I care to remember I found Alcohol Explained very difficult to write and nearly didn’t bother. Every time I hear that it has helped someone I feel intensely gratified. It is a feeling that I find hard to put into words to know that people I have never met, from all over the world, have been through the same misery I have and found Alcohol Explained to be the key to release them from that misery; that my words have had such a positive impact on them. So why was this particular review so different? It was unique in one very simple way; it was left by a non-drinker.
When I wrote Alcohol Explained my main motivation was to put down what I knew in the hopes that it would help others. And it seems to be doing this. For many people it simply makes sense, it is like having an insolvable problem and suddenly being provided with a solution, or looking at an optical illusion and seeing it for what it is. But what I also hoped it would do, would provide an explanation to the non-drinker and non-alcoholic as to what the alcoholic is going through and why they continue to pick up that bottle despite the seeming insanity of so doing. Whilst I can see that the book makes sense to the problem drinker because they are able, from their own bitter experience, to see the inherent truth in what I write, I was never sure whether it would also make sense to a non-drinker, or whether they would think it was just a load of old rubbish (or at least be unable to judge the worth of the words because they have not experienced the state of alcoholism or problem drinking).
If the book does make sense to the non-drinker / non-alcoholic then it could have another very important function; it could be capable of reconciling those relationships that have been destroyed by alcoholism. If for example a marriage fails because of the alcoholism of one partner, it is never the case that the nondrinking partner ups and leaves at the first sign of trouble (and if they do then it is likely that the relationship was doomed to failure anyway). They try again and again to make it work and eventually give up because of the fruitlessness, the constant broken promises and irrational behaviour. There is no point in the alcoholic saying ‘this time it’s different, this time I’ve really stopped’ because they’ve said it a million times before and broken every promise they’ve previously made not to drink again. And if the offending partner does manage to stop for long enough that the other partner might actually entertain the possibility that maybe this time IS different, usually so much time has passed that there is no relationship left to redeem.
However if you can explain to the innocent party what has actually happened to the alcoholic, and how they now have the knowledge required to allow them to stop for good, you should be able to redeem that relationship before time ends what love is left.
In essence, if Alcohol Explained makes sense to non-drinkers then it has a far wider use than helping people to stop drinking. It can help others to understand the phenomenon too, to explain the seemingly irrational behaviour and, perhaps more importantly, convince the non-drinker that this time it IS different, that this time the drinker has finally given up for good, that the person they once fell in love with is still in there and this time they are shrugging off the shackles or alcohol for good.